Some people come into your life and at the time you don't even realize the impact they will have, or even that there will be an impact. Then you fall gracefully in love with this new acquaintance over the course of the next year, although you live thousands of miles apart and seemingly, at times, in a different world. Erin Behr was sent to me as a gift. I met her on a business trip for the company we work for, and something about her energy attracted me to her and pulled my attention in. Her laugh, her humor and her radiance made me want to be around her, to laugh with her and to radiate in her light.
For over a year I had been trying to come to terms with the death of my daughter, something I don't speak to many people about, emotionally anyhow. I told Erin all about my ordeal the THIRD day I met her. I felt okay and lighter after spilling my dark spot. She never gave me any advice, she never tried to make me feel better, she just let me be me. It was exactly what I needed at that point in my life, just to be okay with feeling what I was feeling. I began this search into myself, into a better self because of Erin. Her spirit and her life-giving positive energy had a profound affect on my life.
When I first heard the news of Haiti, from Erin, I was devastated for her. It's one of those moments where you know terrible devastation is on the horizon, yet you can not let your mind crack open to what heartbreak will lay before you. My heart was breaking mostly for Erin, as I know she loves her people and had a very strong connection with them. After initially speaking with Erin about going over there I was scared for her. Scared that being smacked in the face with death and tragic circumstances would be so very hard. I guess I was projecting my own fear of seeing the dark spots and hurt in this world. I have realized that Erin is above letting the dark stop her from her destiny. She has found her self, and is rapidly building her legacy. Through her art Erin has expressed her love and her soul shines through.
In my own search for life I yearn to help, especially children. I am looking for my Lileigh. I know that I will see her again, but in this world I am learning to take all the hurt in my heart and direct it towards children who need me. I complain about my job, when I stop and really think about it all, I don't have to do what I am doing, I am choosing this life because it enables me to help. It enables me to have my days completely full, without much time to hurt, and gives me the monetary means to help out other children who I can not have as my own. After meeting Erin I went back to school and am pursuing my psychology degree, simply because I want to help people. I really wish to enable people who have endured a great deal of pain to move on and move up. To enjoy the beauty of the sunshine on their face, or the wind as is rushes past the window. To be able to feel something other than the dark.
Selfishly I am riding on Erin's high right now. Her art and her soul have opened doors for her that will grow wider with every step she takes. Erin is taking her dark spot and creating light and love for the people who stole her heart. I could not be prouder or happier for this transformation in her life. While thinking last night about what this all means I came to the conclusion that Erin just opened up to her meaning in life. Some people search an entire lifetime to find themselves, and their purpose on this earth....the enlightened ones find it. I love you Erin and will do anything in my power to help you attract the greatness that will find you.